There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Welp...herpes.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
