I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
