Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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