How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
