So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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