I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
