So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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