there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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