last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he was CRYING into my vagina
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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