I want to walk on stilts...naked
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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