If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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