My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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