I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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