i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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