flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
