Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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