i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
