explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
