People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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