Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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