those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
