fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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