Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
