and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
