I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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