If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize