I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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