sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
