Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
