You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
