Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
