I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
