sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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