bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Randomize
