I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
