Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
