new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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