im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
