Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
