I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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