Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize