I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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