Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
