my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
