I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
