Cold hands, warm shart.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
