I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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