Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
