I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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