I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
