She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
