apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
my poor anus
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize