I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
