Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
