i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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