we're blogging at a bar
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
what day is it and did you see me today?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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