Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
