One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
