Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
