You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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