I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
