I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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